My first impulse is to apologize to you, dear reader, for not writing earlier.
But then I remind myself that I’m attempting to apologize less.
I’m writing this while standing at the countertop in our new kitchen (you never know where inspiration will strike – mine struck while unloading the dishwasher). Betsy is sniffing around, exploring every cabinet that I open, and often finding herself in sticky situations (she somehow got behind an open drawer, and I wasn’t really sure if she’d be able to get out).
Life is EXHAUSTING, y’all.
Don’t you feel that there are just periods of life where you stop and think, “I’m not sure I can handle much more.”
I realized I had reached my breaking point last week when during a job interview, the interviewer said “Welcome!” and I began to reply with “Wel-“… until I remembered that it’s odd to welcome someone to their own office.
Interviewing for jobs is hard. Moving is hard. Packing is hard. Unpacking is harder. Painting is hard. Life is hard.
Enough complaining. It isn’t good form to complain about the good things in your life. And this beautiful home that I’m standing in is a blessing. It’s an exhausting, hard, overwhelmingly scary blessing, but it’s a blessing.
We spent all of last week painting. For some reason, almost every surface of this house is beige. The ceiling is beige. The trim is beige. The walls are beige. And Brad and I are not beige people. We found ourselves rejoicing when we found sections of the house that have been blessedly left white.
My unemployment has been a blessing this past few weeks, as I wouldn’t otherwise have been able to spend hours upon hours painting all those beige bits with white, purple, and grey.
Slowly we’re breathing color back into this home. And between coats of paint, I have packed, cleaned, unpacked, and interviewed for jobs.
I am not the best interviewer. I used to think I was, but I’m afraid I’ve become too honest in the job interviewing process. During one interview, I was asked if my previous boss would have rated my performance. The top choice was “exemplary” and I chose the level below that. Because wouldn’t you think anyone who says “Oh, I was EXEMPLARY at my last job” would be lying? I wouldn’t believe a single word if a person told me that they were exemplary at their last job. Hardworking? Satisfactory? Sure. Exemplary? Com’on. Not even Superman could say that he was exemplary at saving people. I’m sure all those people got a few scrapes and bruises in the midst of saving.
So I have been honest and myself during these interviews. And someone has hired me. That’s right-– I start my new job in July. I know what you’re thinking, “but I’m going to miss all those whiny posts about how you are so bored being unemployed.”
Don’t you worry, fearless reader. I will find SOMETHING to whine about. Don’t we all?
In the meantime, I’ll be painting over more beige bits.
Brad and I visit our neighborhood Lowe’s so often that we have become friendly with the staff. There’s the door guy who helped us order our beautiful new door that I dream about at night in all of its glory. There’s the paint guy who lectured us about how we should spend $50 on a can of paint because the paint is just that much better. We nodded along and then proceeded to not spend $50 on a can of paint because there is quite a lot of beige to paint over. And then there’s the adorable cashier who told me that Forever 21 was having a huge blowout sale and I should go and buy a bunch of things and I loved her at that moment because she believes I could actually fit into clothing at Forever 21.
I’m still waiting for the day when we walk into Lowe’s and everyone greets us by name.
Don’t for one second think that we only shop at Lowe’s. I drag poor Brad all over Boise as I price out items. He and I are a good match for each other though. We both do extensive research before buying anything and debate the merits of quantity versus quality. He has read all about roofing materials and lawn mowers, while I’ve spent my time Googling the best way to clean hardwood floors and what paint sheen looks best where.
We haven’t even started remodeling the apartment yet. I’m sure that before we take the sledgehammer to the kitchen that hasn’t been touched since the sixties, that we’ll be searching for the best way to layout cabinets and how to apply backsplash.
I have always been a reader before a doer. In the 7th grade, I joined the Jr. High volleyball team. What did I do before I began playing? I checked out a book at the library on how to play volleyball. In no shape or form did it help me become a good volleyball player, I was atrocious, but I knew how to play.
I’m sure that if I had had access to YouTube during that time, I would have become a decent player. Which is why I think I’ll be able to put up a decent backsplash thanks to YouTube.
While I may have written this while standing in the kitchen, I’m hitting the Publish button in a local coffeeshop. We may have cable, but we won’t have Internet for two more weeks. See, I told you I could find something to whine about!
For those of you who want to know what colors we chose:
Expressive Plum (dining room)
North Star (living room/kitchen/laundry room)
Denim (family room)